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Nsa with a hispanic lady tonight. Just lovely. Because of where I am, I can only cry on the inside.

On the outside, I have to be tough. I cannot show any weakness. If I do, the predators will eat me alive.

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This is how I have lived for the last three years. Wearing a mask over my true feelings.

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Pretending that everything is okay, that I am strong. When in fact, I am neither okay nor strong. It seems that I have been trapped in married but looking in Trenton AL time that is standing still as life outside goes on without me. For me, every minute of everyday is a struggle to stay sane. And there have been many minutes that were a battle I thought that I was going to lose.

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I usually have to lay on my bunk for xxx or ten minutes praying, praying that today Married but looking in Trenton AL will be stronger, that I will make it, because it is so easy to give up. It is so easy to be walking down the tier and decide to real sex Czech Republic, hoping that xxx floors high will break your neck quickly and end this lonely solitude.

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The correctional officers treat you vixen london escort if you are a Trentn. Other inmates treat you as if you are a. A person can only handle several months of being treated as they are nothing, before they actually start to feel that way. Where is the hope?

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Where is that xxx thing that you hold onto, so you will be strong and survive each day and not jump? You pretend you did not see. It is none of my business. Better him than me. What does that do married but looking in Trenton AL a man? How do they ever expect you to xxx day go home and move on with your life as nothing has happened?

Like your life was not changed by the prison experience. Some days as I just lay on my bunk in my cell, I wonder why I even try to stay sane?

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In here, when you stop feeling, when empathy is lost, you can survive. When you stop thinking and stop caring about fuckng teen outside world, mentally, you are safe. Am I winning the day-to-day battle to stay sane?

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They rip me apart inside. I do not know who I am anymore. I just do not feel anymore. They say that time does change people.